Hurt and Angry

So, I have something to say that I have needed to get off my chest. I kinda close down when it comes to emotions (sometimes) and I have the bad habit of just exploding, either in tears or in a stream of curse words.
 I am so angry at my father. And Dad, if you are reading this...I am MAD at you! I am angry and hurt. Do you realize that your only daughter graduated from college? And with honors?! I got a text from you the morning of my graduation, right after I walked and it was something stupid about how you lost your job again and you were back on the road. Guess what? I AM FREAKING PISSED. Aunt Gigi and Jen were the ONLY ones from my dad's side of the family who acknowdged my graduation. I am so extremely grateful for that. Seriously, I am not asking for money (although some finiancial assitance for your DAUGHTER would be much appreciated) but just a congratulations, even a card would be so nice! I know money is tight...so you can't send a 2 dollar card with a few simple words of pride in it??!

...My dad ruined my high school graduation. I'm sorry, it's true, he ruined it and I was crying the whole way home. ((for those who don't know the story, it's long so I'll just say he came into town for my ceremony with his mother and brother and he was supposed to take me to dinner after the ceremony)) After I walked, I called him and he was heading back home! I never even saw him.

My 21st birthday....I spent it in Chicago with my former roomie and our friend--for some reason I wanted to see Dad...he said he would take me to dinner. He showed up with a new girlfriend, I PAID for my own birthday lunch and then when we were supposed to spend the day together, he said he had to go home to finish LAUNDRY. OH-MY-GOD you selfish, selfish man!!!! I cried after he left and my friends did their best to cheer me up on my birthday.

Seriously Dad...I hope you're reading this. I have had an awful history with you...if you remember the letter I wrote to you when I was really young...you probably don't. You don't care about anything but yourself. So why would you read the writings of a 23 year old girl? Nevermind that I'm your only daughter.
 My mom and I drove up to Iowa to see my family this summer....thank God I had my cousins because I wouldn't have been able to last without them. This was my last chance to see everyone before I move to Florida. I wanted to spend time with Dad but he had to get back to clean his house!!!!

I know many of you are reading this and are probably wincing at the akward-ness this post brings up. I am sorry if you feel the tension. But I am sick of me asking Mom "is it wrong for me to be angry with him? Mom, do I have a right to feel hurt right now?" and her answer is always the same. "He's very childish and very selfish. He'll never grow up".

I am really hurt, Dad. I just graduated from college with Magna Cum Laude and I have a JOB right out of college--a lot of college grads can't say that and I can. I would think I would get some recognition from you. I know you say you are so proud of me--please show it.